Thursday, March 7, 2013

Keep Your Friends Close, But Keep The Positive Ones Closer


Ever had an epiphany?  When an idea, or life objective, or just anything in particular just made you go “AHA!” and you would feel like a man (or woman) on a mission? Well, I have.  And that’s why I’m writing this RIGHT NOW while I’m all sweaty and funky, so you better not take this for granted.  I just had an epiphany about the human connection and myself.

I’ll get this out right now. I HATE WRITING. I like talking, I can talk nonstop about my thoughts to random strangers I’ve just met.  I haven’t always been like this, in fact, I’ve never been, until about two years ago.  The only time I would actually write is so I can get an A on a paper I don’t give a damn about. But I want to get this out, so you better listen.

As I was doing my daily 12 mile bike commute home today, with the rain blowing against me at about 6 miles per hour and listening to Blood Bros: First Blood mix (It’s an awesome “training” mix, check it out: https://soundcloud.com/maddecent/blood-bros-first-blood), I was passing by my high school.  A bunch of track kids (or cross country, I didn’t do sports in high school in the US, so I don’t know the current sport for the season) were passing by, being the supportive guy I am, I gave them a thumbs up, giving them the gesture to “Keep it up!” And trailing behind all of them was my only P.E. teacher, who was also track and field and cross country coach.  I slowed down and waved, saying “Mrs. J!”  She waved back to acknowledge my presence, but I’m not sure if she remembers me, or if she was just too concentrated  on the wet pavement she’s running, and in all honesty, it doesn’t matter if she does.  The last time I saw her was when I was running the 2011 Trail of Two Cities (Fresno/Clovis) Marathon, where she was volunteering as a checkpoint person along with the kids she’s been coaching.  It was my first marathon, and that was about or a little over the halfway point and I was already dreading it, with my incredibly sore knees and ankles.  Her presence at the checkpoint reminded me of the time in high school when she tried recruiting me to the track team in high school, because even though I was overweight at the time, she saw potential in me during a flag football game during P.E. class, and kids started teasing me, calling me “Forrest Gump” because I was trying too hard.  And she used that mockery to instead praise me.

“Those kids were calling you Forrest Gump for a reason you know?  Maybe you should try joining the track team!”

I doubted those words.  I didn’t have much self-esteem at the time (>tfw when no gf; >tfw I’ll always be overweight because genetics).  So I told her I’ll think about it, which when it comes from my mouth, almost always means no.  Yet, a week or so later, I get an invitation letter to try out for track.  It ended up in the shredder.  She didn’t ask me again, but the next semester, I get another invitation, but for the cross country team instead.  I didn’t give it a second thought at all, I just dumped the invitation.  After my sophomore year of high school, we didn’t have P.E. anymore, so I had no other reasons to see or meet her anymore.  Not until when I was running the marathon, I waved and shouted “Hey Mrs. J!”  I don’t know if she remembers me, but it doesn’t matter, the flashback gave me a temporary pain neutralizer helping me to finish my marathon at an underwhelming 4 hours or so.

I guess you could call this a flashback within a flashback huh?  ‘Cause right now, I’m biking home against the rain.  Thinking about what she tried to do for me, I realized that I took what she said for granted, I doubted not only her, but also myself.  And that’s when it hit me.  It hit me as hard as it probably hit Rocky’s son when he got the speech from his dad in in Rocky Balboa (it’s one of the most influential lines I’ve heard in my life, and it always come back to me whenever I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5OookwOoY).


Forrest Gump is one of my favorite movies of all time.  I had no reason to like it, just as there’s no reason for me to dislike it, it’s just about a guy who just does what he does.  He doesn’t have to bring people down to get to the top, he works his way up there on his own merit, all along while enriching the lives of those around him.  And that’s what I want

We all have different goals in life; we all want to achieve something.  But no matter how similar they may be, they’re still different, because it’s OUR goals.  It’s not mine, it’s not theirs, and it’s yours.  We all have one thing in common though: we want to get to the top.  And that’s what I want to do, I want to get to the top, and I want you up there with me. 

So what does all this have to do with the human connection?  There’s a lot of people that surround us, some people are gonna want to keep you down, some people just don’t care, but then there are some people who want you up there with them.  And these are the people you want to listen to, you want to stick to.  I’m not telling you to abandon your pessimistic friends; I’m just telling you not let anyone hold you back, and not to take people and their efforts to help you for granted.  YOU HAVE TO BREAK THOSE LIMITS.

Mrs. J wanted me up there, but I was too chained to my belief that I’ll never have enough willpower and determination that I’ll actually make it.  If you keep telling yourself that kind of shit, you’re going to keep believing that shit.  I’m not saying I regret the decision not to join track or cross country, it’s a lesson I learned and I’ll keep forever.  I’m not where I want to be yet, in fact, I probably never will be.  Counter-intuitive?  HELL NO.  That’s because I always keep setting my bar higher!  You have to push it to the limit, keep your pace, and then, push it even higher.

When I got into cosplaying, I was intimidated.  I didn’t feel comfortable because I feel like I won’t be accepted by the community for being such a newbie.  Some people even mocked our cosplays saying we look like Mormons in our butler outfits and whatnot.  But I didn’t let those kind of comments affect my confidence.  I kept cosplaying, eventually getting better, making more friends, and inspiring people to do the same.  I liked the feeling of inspiring people, and that’s why we started the Runaloids (http://www.facebook.com/runaloids), to help people kickstart a healthy lifestyle even at conventions!  I found my reason to be in this community is to have fun and inspire people.

Success draws attention.  It’s not a bad thing at all, but sometimes, we can overdo it and just look for more attention.  This is when I lost my main objective.  I haven’t been updating on Runaloids, I just wanted to update our page more and more, getting likes, compliments, and attention in the cosplay scene.  My girlfriend noticed this too, and even claimed that I disgust her, because all I want now is attention.  She’s right.  I forgot my reason, my role, and my objective.

People ask me for advice all the time: weight loss, relationships, yada-yada.  I give them my honest thought, and a lot of times, they don’t even follow through.  I get frustrated, and I give up on them.  Doesn’t that make ME the hypocrite? 

It’s easy to give up on when it’s one-on-one with a single person, but I won’t give up on my friends, and everyone around me.  And this is when I realize that I want to be my own Mrs. J.  I want to do as much as I can to help, and that’s why I wrote this.

Ok, I’m not sweaty anymore, but I still stink, so I’ll take be taking a shower now.

tl;dr: Don’t let yourself or other people hold you down.  Don’t take your friends and their advice for granted.  You’ll make it, we’ll all make it.  Never give up!

Friday, July 6, 2012

EVERYDAY I'M SUFFERING

I'll be posting up some AX updates soon! For now, enjoy~
Don't forget to watch this gif with: http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=Ww0DK-L4dlE

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Introduction: Go Gogo!

Hey guys! Gogo Hikaru here, the 55 of the 155. (Ichi Go Go)
Me as "Mabroka" at FanimeCon 2012 
Some people call me Gogo, some Hikaru, the PanicStrawberry, that one trap and for quite some time, Queen-Kawaii.

 I'm a nutritionist and studying as a kinesiologist (someone who studies human movement), so if you're interested in anything regarding what to eat and setting up workout schedules, etc, talk to me about anything!

As you all know, I love anime. I've been watching anime since I was tiny, thanks to our mom who was also really into anime ever since she was little!

My anime interests varied greatly ever since; from super robots, to monster pets, magical girls, deep dark bloody anime, and quite recently into the mushy tragic love anime sort. (I don't even know how to describe it!)

My ABSOLUTE favorites right now are Star Driver, Madoka Magica and Dusk Maiden of Amnesia. (They're all Crunchyroll titles!) 

Another love of mine that branched off from my love of anime would be.. you guessed it~ Cosplay!

I love to cosplay, and I have continually been involved in the California cosplay scene since 2010.
I'm still growing as a cosplayer, and I have MUCH yet to learn, but it doesn't mean that I won't try to dazzle the stage everytime I cosplay!

Me as Meiko at AOD 2012 
One of the things I want to be noted for is for my crossplaying~ I'm not really good at it yet, but I think I can pass quite a lot of the time. ;) One of my passions in life is to trap people.

Try to catch me around the California cosplay scene, and soon around the US as well!

Next up for me is Anime-Expo 2012, I'll be going as Homura Akemi, Genderbent Madoka Kaname, Dessert Witch Charlotte's Jack, Sugata Shindou's King, and Princess Nia.

So, that's it for me and my introduction, stay tuned for my brother's!

<3 Gogo Hikaru
The Queen-Kawaii



Follow me on twitter! twitter.com/panicstrawberry
Add me on facebook: Facebook.com/RevolutionaryBoy
Buddy up in Crunchyroll: PanicStrawVberry


Oh, and ASK ME ANYTHING!
I'll happily answer questions of any sort~

Tuesday, April 17, 2012